President’s Message
By Kam Gupta
The world has taught us how to judge people and label them. We label people based on our filters. Based on those labels, we begin to mold our behaviors, our expectations, and our actions. We live in a world of reactions.
One such often-used reactionary word is “sorry”. For many, it is one of the measures of being polite and cultured. “Sorry” compensates for many of our ills, willful or not. Some people use the word” sorry” to reflect humility.
Take some of the examples below:
Late for a meeting – “I’m sorry…”
An unpleasant argument – “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
After a poor performance – “I’m sorry for letting you down.”
Self-promotion – “I’m sorry IF it sounds like bragging, I am only stating the facts.”
At someone’s loss – “I am sorry…”
And just to be on the safe side, for about everything else, “I am so sorry”.
And this one I love – Watching a couple after an argument and then reconciliation efforts by one of the spouses where sorry has been lavishly showered only to leave one further frustrated, “I am sorry for saying that I am sorry.” Or “This is the last time I am saying sorry….”
In many cases, “sorry” will be supported with a long-winded story or reasons behind the situation. Such as bad traffic, weather, medical issues, indisposition, equipment breakdown, God’s will, mental instability, etc.
You will also notice that people who get away by saying “sorry”, use the word repeatedly and without any feeling of responsibility, for they have mastered the art of being in a sorry state of flux (Watch them repeat the same situation over again).
We consider them cultured, well-mannered, and someone who is sensitive.
I explored this topic further and spoke with people and experts as to why people use the word sorry. It was interesting to learn that there were many motives behind the “I’m sorry”.
To preempt the other party’s becoming upset by our act or action.
To avoid further questioning.
To minimize the risk of escalation.
To reflect as someone being sincere and real and mean it by taking responsibility and further action.
Someone also said, “Sorry is a perfect cover up for a perceived imperfect act.”
What are your reasons to say or be “sorry”?
When someone doesn’t say “sorry” as expected, we consider him or her to be rude, ungrateful, egotistic, and pure out of line. Surprisingly, coaches were no different. They were just more elaborate.
As coaches, how we live our lives very much determines how we have transformed ourselves towards our natural being. Why do we say “sorry” and why do we expect others to say “sorry”? That is a question, which will raise our awareness about the meaning of un-conditionality in many aspects of our lives. As our power of coaching grows, so does the probability of eliminating the “sorry state of sorry” from our vocabulary.
Wishing you a life filled with the joys of summer. Love and laughter until next time.
